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While grocery shopping for this year’s Thanksgiving meal, I spotted these shrink-wrapped wonders at my local Whole Foods. My first thought was what kind of over-privileged priss-ball can’t chop his own friggin’ vegetables?

My second thought was to conduct a quick price comparison. The package of chopped celery and brunoise carrots sells for $3.07. I suspect that, maybe, there are a total of two diced carrots in that package. An entire bag of organic carrots at Whole Foods sells for $1.29.

Which makes said over-privileged priss-ball who buys this package not only lazy but a spendthrift. Unless…unless said over-privileged priss-ball understands the value of his or her time. Perhaps it takes this priss-ball 10 minutes to chop and dice carrots and celery, and this priss-ball is actually a lawyer who earns $250 a hour.  That 10 minutes translates into, roughly, about $42. So paying a couple of dollars more to make $42 would be a good use of time.

Why do I feel like I’m overthinking this?

This morning I had a third thought on these pre-cut veggies: Why wouldn’t Whole Foods offer such a product? Grocery stores already butcher our meats, bake our breads, brew our coffees, bake our cakes, prepare our salads, build our sandwiches, clean and slice our fish, peel our shrimp, slice our deli meats, and god knows what else. Isn’t chopping our vegetables just the next logical step?

Maybe one day they can eat our food for us, too, and tell us how it tastes?