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In a funny April Fool’s Day post, the folks over at Greater Greater Washington constructed a food desert map for D.C. identifying the wide swaths of town that lack full-service and non-full-service cupcakeries. According to GGW, Wards 4, 7, and 8 lack any cupcake-hawking locations. Even Ward 3 is largely underserved!

This shameful sugar disparity became the subject of a recent DC Council hearing catered by Georgetown Cupcake.

Councilmember Mary Cheh responded to this crisis with legislation mandating cupcakes in public school cafeterias. Jack Evans advocated tax breaks for cupcake stores, arguing that DC is losing cupcake revenue to Maryland and Virginia.

Not to be outdone, Marion Barry introduced legislation providing tax incentives to cupcake retailers who set up shop in underserved wards, and Harry Thomas, Jr. has a bill mandating diagonal parking and asking DC to analyze building municipal parking garages around cupcake shops.

Ward 2, naturally, is D.C.’s sugar rush capital, anchored by Georgetown, which has traditionally been at the front lines of the epic battle to win cupcake customers, especially on cable television reality shows.

Photo by Flickr user Daquella manera using an Attribution 2.0 Generic Creative Commons license