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Although the view of Shane Victorino‘s backside kept me fairly sated at a recent Nationals vs. Phillies game, I also required some real food in between sips of my $7 pint of Miller Lite.

My boyfriend, a regular meat eater, ordered easily from the server in the 100 section of center field. Our limited menu there consisted of burgers (beef and turkey), tenders, and dogs. I hoped the chicken Caesar wrap could be fixed minus chicken, but they were pre-made so the answer from our server was a quick no.

What could a vegetarian eat? I rescanned the menu and choose a soft pretzel and split fries with my companion. I thought, hey, if everyone else gets a pass on eating healthy on game nights, why should I not indulge too?

I have since scanned the rest of the stadium concessions guide and put together a list, a sort of guide to the guide, if you will, on how to eat meat-free while watching Jayson Werth take the Nats to last place in the division. Herewith, my vegetarian batting rotation:

1. Cheese Pizza

You know what combats sizzling humidity mid-summer: sizzling cheese.
From: Flippin’ Pizza
Where: Section 214

2. Hummus and Chips

Keep your protein up – you’ll probably have to stand up to cheer for this year’s breakout, Wilson Ramos.
From: In-seat Menu
Where: Throughout stadium

3. Soft Pretzel

What better way to up your mustard intake than a salty pretzel. Be warned, don’t let the Gulden’s mustard packets fool you: there’s yellow mustard inside, not its famous spicy.
Where: Throughout stadium

4. Black Bean Burger

Use the no booze rule after the 7th inning stretch to refuel before post-game drinks at Das Bullpen‘s “beer garden.”
From: Red Porch Restaurant
Where: Section 244

5. Sno Cones

Is your beer not keeping you cool enough? Try ice.
From: Hawaiian Shaved Ice
Where: Section 143

6. Veggie Wrap

I get it. It’s beach weather. Way to stick to your diet.
From: Field of Greens
Where: Sections 110

7. Falafel

Certified kosher by the Rabbinical Council of Greater Washington, eating falafel is basically like praying for a win.
From: Kosher Grill
Where: Section 143

8. Gelato

Ice cream, it’s what’s for dinner.
From: Dolce Gelati
Where: Sections 112, 135

9. French Fries

Oh, fuck it. You know you could eat fries for a meal, like, every day, might as well use the game as an excuse.
Where: Throughout stadium

Photo by lrargerich/Creative Commons Attribution License