In Philadelphia, it’s called the South Street Taco. The alcohol-sopping, artery-clogging invention consists of a cheesesteak from Jim’s Steak wrapped in a jumbo slice from Lorenzo’s Pizza. It seems an injustice that D.C. doesn’t have its own assemble-it-yourself, Guy Fieri–slaughtering sloppy drunk food. So, we’ve created our own variation: the U Street Taco. Proceed with caution.

1. Drink three to four beers.

2. Get a chili half smoke at Ben’s Chili Bowl. (You’ll want to go here first, so your pizza doesn’t get cold waiting in the long line.)

3. Walk across the street and buy a giant slice of pizza from Jumbo Pizza.

4. Wrap your half smoke inside the pizza to create the taco.

5. Take a jumbo bite.

Video starring Jonathan L. Fischer, filmed and edited by Jessica Sidman, who took a bite, too: