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Insulting D.C.’s food scene isn’t a pastime for only New Yorkers. Baltimoreans have a chip on their shoulder, too. The latest evidence: “100 Reasons Why Baltimore Is Better Than D.C.” from the Baltimore Sun‘s weekly mag b. Let’s take a look at a few of their jabs:

81. Waiting in line for an hour for a damn cupcake?! You’re joking, right?

Don’t blame us; they’re tourists. Probably from Baltimore.

51. None of this fancy wedding cake stuff. Our brides and grooms keep it real (and superior, dessert-wise) with Dangerously Delicious pies.

50. They really are dangerously delicious.

D.C. also has Dangerously Delicious pies. In fact, we have three locations (Chinatown, H Street NE, Union Station). Baltimore has just the one shop.

38. Politics, schmolitics. We take important things seriously, like our beer: Heavy Seas, Flying Dog, Resurrection, Union Craft Brewing.

News flash: Flying Dog isn’t in Baltimore. In fact, its Frederick facility is slightly closer to D.C. than Baltimore. And trust me, we take our beer very seriously.

73. Our dive bars are actual dive bars — not what a corporation thinks a dive bar should look like.

Don’t hold what happened to Hawk ‘n’ Dove against us. There are plenty of legit dive bars here.

66. We can get reservations at our restaurants.

Damn it. OK, we give you that.

Cover photo via the Baltimore Sun