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  • Read: IG Report on Almost Donated Fire Trucks
  • Where to Drink for Free
  • Yvette Alexander Defects to Team Orange
  • Good morning sweet readers! It may feel like prom, but it’s really just a special election. Remember to vote. News time:

    Pick One: The polls are open, and District residents are streaming to vote in massive waves of one or two people. Last time the District had a special election, 14 years ago, a tiny fraction of the city picked David Catania over Arrington Dixon. This time around, there are nine candidates, five of them who have some chance of winning, competing for the the best part-time gig in America. Will it be Sekou “I’m independent, okay?!” Biddle, Pat “Look at me, I’m a fancy Republican” Mara, Josh “I really miss Fenty” Lopez, Bryan “Please vote for me in first life as well as Second Life” Weaver” or Vincent “I’m going to keep running until you elect me” Orange? Only time, and the Board of Election and Ethics, will tell. For your voting day reading amusement, let’s start with the Post‘s Tim Craig report that Biddle’s colleagues on the council haven’t exactly been what one might describe as “helpful” in his election bid. “And interviews with five of the eight other council members who support Biddle reveal that many of them won’t be spending the next 24 hours heavily working their wards or contact lists trying to round up support for their endorsed candidate. It’s not that they aren’t willing to help, some say. Instead, several indicated that they haven’t been asked to do much.” Hmm, not hard to imagine why Biddle would want nothing to do with certain elected officials. It’s not like they only cost him has political career or anything. Too soon?

    AFTER THE JUMP: More Election Madness; Escort Service; IG Report Finds That Barry Used Drugs, Er, That The Firetruck Donation Was Shady;

    More Election Madness: Next up on election news is The Examiner’s Harry Jaffe’s double dog dare to District Republicans to get their rears in gear. “Let me be clear: If Patrick Mara loses, we can write off the D.C. GOP as a bunch of aging white folks who meet and talk and complain but cannot get anyone elected. … The political climate has brought us the perfect storm to elect a Republican. Will it be a momentary squall or a sustained change in weather?”  Ward 8 ANC Commissioner Sandra Seegars says unflattering things about Biddle and his white wife. Mike DeBonis crunches the numbers on how many early votes have come from “white” and “black” wards. And the Post editorial board reminds everyone that it endorsed Mara (and Philip Pannell in Ward 8 and D. Kamili Anderson in Ward 4 in school board races.)

    Also, we may not know who is going to win the election, but the prize for best special election coverage has never been in doubt. DCist’s Martin Austermuhle deserves some sort of plaque for all his hard work for his exhaustive coverage of the race. For instance, read Martin’s voter guide for each of the candidates, complete with handy strengths and weakness of each front-running candidate, if you’re still undecided. (Arkan Haile, Strengths: Won’t be in the news for doing embarrassing things if elected. Weaknesses: probably won’t ever hear from the guy ever again.)

    Escort Service: The Examiner‘s Freeman Klopott reports that a top MPD cop wrote an email that implies that police escorts like the one given to Charlie Sheen are routine and that MPD gave the New York Rangers an escort out of town a day after Police Chief Cathy Lanier said escorts are just reserved for important people. The Rangers are not important people; the Rangers are, as Caps fans know, losers.

    Shady Fire Truck: See what you’ve done, Michael Neibauer? LL’s favorite city hall reporter could have just ignored the part of the District Register about Peaceoholics getting surplus District equipment and Peter Nickles would still be mayor, Sinclair Skinner and Ron Moten would be in higher tax brackets, and the resort town of Sosua in the Dominican Republic would have a couple of old District fire trucks. But no, Neibauer had to break the fire-truck giveaway story two years ago, leading to a inspector general’s report that was released to the public yesterday, which finds that senior aides to former Mayor Adrian Fenty “flouted procurement regulations, broke personnel rules and otherwise ‘failed to exercise proper oversight,'” as the Post reports. Skinner offers a rebuttal suggesting that he tried to donate the District’s property to the Dominican Republican in 2009 so that they could be used to help victims of Haiti’s earthquake in 2010.

    Where’s Sulaimon?: WAMU reports that the D.C. Council can’t find Sulaimon Brown to serve him a subpoena to come testify. “The council’s best shot of subpoenaing Brown may have been earlier this month. After telling the press he was boycotting an April 8 hearing on the Gray administration’s hiring practices, Brown burst on the scene, held court with reporters for a few minutes, and then exited out the front door—just moments before council staff could serve him a subpoena. After that incident, the D.C. Council’s Office of the Secretary hired an outside firm to find Brown and serve him the subpoena, but so far it hasn’t had any luck.”

    In Other News: Don’t ever listen to Councilmember Mary Cheh’s engineering advice (“Could you throw a bunch of stones under it?”).

    Gray sked: Opening of Paul Bakery (LL has never heard of it, but it’s French and it’s supposed to be good) 10:30 a.m. 801 Penn. Ave. Various meetings and appearances throughout the day.

    Council sked: Recess.