We know D.C. Get our free newsletter to stay in the know.

Success! You're on the list.

A deliberative roundup of one city’s local politics. Send your tips, releases, stories, events, etc. to lips@washingtoncitypaper.com. And get LL Daily sent straight to your inbox every morning!

Good afternoon sweet readers! With the economy about to collapse at any moment, LL thought it best to come up with a plan B in case his lucrative journalism job disappears. LL’s plan is to become a stand up comedian who repurposes Jeff Foxworthy material and gears it towards new parents. For example: “If a sneeze causes you to fall backwards from a seated position, hit your head on the floor and begin wailing … you might be a baby.” Gold mine! News time:

Take A Bow, The Party’s Over: We are officially in the summer news doldrums, which is why Harry Jaffe‘s paean to former Mayor Adrian Fenty and City Administrator Allen Lew gets today’s top billing. Jaffe says that if you should think of the shiny new District schools set to reopen soon, you should recall Fenty and Lew made it happen. “Fenty was single-minded to a fault. He pushed Lew, Lew pushed his contractors, they finished the jobs. Lew demanded quality and got it.”

AFTER THE JUMP: CFO Dismisses CFO; Tommy Wells Killed a Deer …

CFO Dismisses CFO: WBJ has more on troubles at the United Medical Center, with the news that CFO Nat Gandhi has dismissed the hospital’s CFO Derrick Hollings, who hospital staff want to stay on as a chief operating officer. According to Dr. Wilton Nedd, the hospital’s chief of staff, the hospital’s medical staff is upset with Gandhi over the move and upset with the hospital board’s “micromanaging.” “We want to step on legal grounds, but we’re going to flex whatever muscle we have,” Nedd said. Sounds like trouble ahead.

Tommy Wells Killed A Deer: Ward 6 Councilmartyr Tommy Wells is stuck in Minnesota because he totaled his wife’s Prius when he went all Mad Max on a deer. LL’s just going to let the Post‘s remarkable take on this event breath on its own: “As tens of thousands of motorists find out each year, striking a deer can be a traumatic experience for even the most road-tested drivers, never mind a politician whose slogan is ‘building a livable, walkable’ District. In some instances, the terror associated with a deer-vehicle collision can even push drivers toward purchasing larger, gas-guzzling vehicles to provide an added sense of safety on the highway. Wells, however, scoffed at suggestions that a now-dead deer could push his family into a large car. Wells said the bumper of the Prius crumpled as it was designed to, shouldering the impact so efficiently that the car’s airbags did not even inflate.” Also, Wells’ taste in music is remarkably similar to the playlist of every classic rock radio station in the country.
In Other News:

  • Gallup poll says D.C. is quite economically confident.
  • D.C. special education bus service is in disarray.
  • Ward 4 Council candidate Baruti Jahi hopes Wal-Mart will stay out.
  • Gray not filling historic preservation board.
  • Thanks to National Park Service, “MLK Drive” signs won’t hang near new memorial.
  • No oil spill in the Anacostia River after all.
  • Gandhi plays Gandhi.

Gray sked: 10 a.m. presser on MLK memorial logistics, 12 p.m. Dunbar reconstruction announcement, 3 p.m. Florida Ave. Park groundbreaking; 6 p.m. Watkins Playground Celebration.

Council sked: Recess.