A week after mayoral power rankings debuted, we still have terrible weather. But there’s no reason to be chilly to the new round of power rankings. 

1. Muriel Bowser

What: Bowser pulled off a surprise win in the Ward 8 straw poll.

Why: Does LL trust the Bowser campaign’s claim that they’re nearly even with Vince Gray? Nope. But Bowser out-hustled the mayor on his home turf, turning an awesome week for Gray into a pretty good week for Gray.

Power Rankings Momentum: Rising.

2. Vince Gray

What: Gray avoided the public-relations woes of ineffective snowstorm response, then he got knocked around by Jack Evans.

Why: Gray’s still the favorite to win in April, but his requests to stop talking about his last campaign, displayed in all their shiftiness in a Washington Post interview transcript, are starting to grow tired.

Power Rankings Momentum: Falling.

3. Jack Evans

What: Trash-talking mayoral hopeful Evans said Gray’s evasiveness on when he found about the shadow campaign reminds him of Richard Nixon. Which would make Vernon Hawkins….G. Gordon Liddy?

Why: Evans’ WAMU appearance Friday finally saw him putting distance between himself and the mayor, with Evans articulating his “Vince Gray without the scandals” platform better than he ever has.

Power Rankings Momentum: Rising.

 4. Vincent Orange

What: Orange started the week with an oddly timed black-tie kick-off—-who wants to eat dinner at 9:30 p.m. on a Sunday? Then he finished it demanding to see the unreleased Office of Campaign Finance report on Gray’s last campaign, which is presumably still sitting, Indiana Jones and the Lost Arkstyle, in some D.C. government vault.

Why: Orange’s own Jeff Thompson issues and general antics make him an imperfect vessel for ethics reform, but darned if LL isn’t glad he asked for the report.

Power Rankings Momentum: Rising.

5. Tommy Wells

What: LL struggled to think of something to say for Wells this week. Which is exactly the problem! Maybe next Wednesday’s candidate forum will change that.

Why: Wells’ crew did wear coordinated scarves to the straw poll, though.

Power Rankings Momentum: Falling.

6. Andy Shallal

What: He’s famous! Shallal nabbed a profile in lefty mag The Nation this week that painted him as a little bit Bill de Blasio, a little bit Michael Bloomberg.

Why: If collecting TMZ “‘Memba Them?”-level celebrities counted on Election Day, Shallal would already be spinning around in the mayor’s chair. Shallal’s latest celeb pal: “Puff the Magic Dragon” writer Peter Yarrow, who’s appearing at a Shallal fundraiser next week.

Power Rankings Momentum: Falling.

7. Reta Lewis

What: Lewis dipped into the viral economy this week, burning the other candidates with a shareable graphic dissing her rivals for being…elected for a long time.

Why: LL’s not sure if pointing out how much experience Lewis’ opponents have is the best plan.

Power Rankings Momentum: Planet Hillary-dependent.

Honorable Mentions

Christian Carter, for bowing out as gracefully as someone whose campaign started with people calling him a deadbeat can. Rapper/self-proclaimed mayor Carlos Allen, whose ubiquitous Metrobus ad campaign will help fund the Silver Line. The burning ambition of David Catania.

Did LL get it wrong? Send your alternate power rankings to lips@washingtoncitypaper.com.

Photos by Darrow Montgomery