We know D.C. Get our free newsletter to stay in the know.

It’s budget season at the D.C. Council, which means it’s also time for Ward 3 Councilmember Mary Cheh‘s annual joke budget.

Among Cheh’s proposals:

  • An “Eleanor Holmes Norton Office of Parking and Driving,” named in honor of the District government’s worst parker, to teach elected officials how to park legally.
  • A dictionary for ex-U.S. Attorney Ron Machen, whose promise that “there’s there there” about Vince Gray‘s 2010 campaign hasn’t come to fruition. With a dictionary, Cheh writes, Machen can “finally determine where exactly is the there.”
  • Changes to the D.C. Council structure, to make sure all that “Mayor [Muriel] Bowser‘s former staff and campaign aides” are employed.
  • A duel between Bowser and attorney general Karl Racine in RFK Stadium.

There’s also a proposal for the D.C. Board of Elections—printed upside-down, naturally. Read the rest of it below, and if you don’t find it funny, Cheh suggests you smoke some newly legalized marijuana.

[documentcloud url=”https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/2084486-mary-cheh-joke-budget.html”]
Photo by Darrow Montgomery