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Two years ago today the financial system embarked upon an exhilarating near-collapse that in my naivete I assumed would rid the culture of its giant hard-on for wealthy people. I was quite wrong. Okay, well, Americans are silly and brainwashed and their attention spans are down to about 67 characters at this point. What I did not anticipate was the continued complicity of so many members of the news media in sustaining our wrongheaded worship of oligarchs and robber barons.

And…that’s what we’ll be addressing over here at Das Krapital. Set your search engines, internet!

I’m Moe. I have spent the past two and a half hours now not writing this post, because I’ve already written so excessively about myself on the internet that it feels fairly gluttonous to do it anymore. Here is a story I wrote earlier this year about my “career” before landing this gig. I’m a Libra and a native of Alexandria. Last night I babbled something about how I would give up my abortion rights if we could establish ourselves a just progressive tax policy in this country and, while I was obviously drinking heavily when I said this, that is the sort of leftist I am.

I have little to say about culture war bullshit, except to say that if you agree with Camille Paglia about Lady Gaga you are a moron.

Also, I haven’t really lived in this town since high school, when you had to pick up the City Paper if you wanted to know who was playing the (old) (and fucking glorious) 9:30 club. The world was better in those days, as I recalled again when perusing bound volumes of the paper from 1995. Back then, you basically had to fund journalism in order to get laid, and the nation was better for it. I don’t have anything particularly uplifting to say beyond that, so I’ll leave you with the text of a “Missed Connections” ad I found in the issue that published fifteen years ago this week:

CHERYL (I THINK) owner of the deceased Siamese fighting fish. I’m the tall guy with curly dirty blond hair who bought a blue lava lamp from you at Dapy on Labor Day. I’m wondering if you’ll let me buy you dinner.