Do you have a plan to vote?

Let us tell you the information you need to register and cast a ballot in D.C.

One of the torments of attempting to act in any sort of “aggregative” capacity for a blog is, adding insult to the lost hours sustained executing the injurious task of scanning all the aggregators, opening tabs, taking in the terabytes of wasted effort, the inordinately larger waste involved in the depressing effort to re-locate all the pointless URLs one had grudgingly settled upon referencing and realizing that while all of them are currently open somewhere on one’s screen, consuming valuable RAM and sabotaging the performance of one’s TweetDeck and the whole the rest of it, they are for one’s immediate purposes hopelessly Missing in Action, as stubbornly inconspicuous and hopelessly overlooked as a black Lexus parked next to a fire hydrant on New York Avenue.

Well readers, today is my birthday and realizing yesterday that I did not want to spend my thirty second year searching hopelessly for lost tags, I downloaded something called TabMix which helpfully endows Firefox with a capability (that it is worth pointing out Safari added several generations ago) to “merge all windows”, which might prove to be totally life-changing if the regimen didn’t so regularly have the adverse side effect of crashing the browser first.

In any case, I’ve decided to reward you, the reader, by cutting back on my hours allotted to the aforementioned activity. I’m too old, and frankly, what’s in it for me to bother linking to today’s eunuch circle jerk of gross finger-wagging about the indefensible treason the latest Bob Woodward book has revealed in our president. David Ignatius, Michael Gerson and Mark Thiessen hardly need my help disseminating their predictable brand of hawkishnothingness. Less is more, right? Do you really want me to link to Tom Friedman’s column urging Americans to emulate Confucian “stick-to-itiveness”? Do you care if I even bother mocking David Brooks on the death of personal responsibility when we know his only responsibility is to some shadowy barons of mendacity and misinformation?

There’s a weird story in Metro about how Michelle Rhee looked “shaken” at a press conference with Vince Gray yesterday. Next to the “relaxed” mayor, Rhee “looked grim and subdued as she withdrew to a far corner.” Then, during his speech, she made a mad rush for the elevators. The Post calls this behavior a “dramatic contrast” to the appearance in which she told the children of D.C. how devastated she was for them that their poor parents had been so ignorant and myopic as to vote out her infallible boss, but I think both performances just take different routes to achieving virtually the same level of “classy.” She is halfway to Newark anyway, which just got $100 million from Mark Zuckerberg, who has already had such a profound impact on the collective cognitive functioning of this great country.

Left curiously undiscussed is Rhee’s outfit. Aspirational! Bell sleeve and one of those modest cleavage peekaboo thingys, hefty quilted bag. To think all this could have been yours, un-lazy teachers of the District of Columbia, although some kid would have puked on that dress sooner or later.

Here’s Stephen Colbert‘s testimony before the House Judiciary Sub-committee on Immigration And All The Related Headaches That Involves, Katy Perry‘s NSFPBS YouTube duet with Elmo, and I was going to link to some semi-firebreathing Washington Times analysis of Lady Gaga‘s specious claim to being “gay” but I lost the link.