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I was a little worried the shocking news of Michelle Rhee‘s resignation would be eclipsed by those Chilean miners but ha ha ha no I was not of course come on we are not talking about the “property rights armageddon” here no way was the Post going to miss the opportunity to run another massive megamulti-bylined Waiting For Superman advertorial illustrated by obligatory shot of Rhee in sad face.
But the Rhee on the front page of the Metro section doesn’t look very sad! In fact, there’s a trace of amusement on her face, like she’s actually about to crack a smile for real as opposed to contorting her face into that alien smile face she makes sometimes for publicity photos. It’s the expression of an extremely Type A Tracy Flick type person, who happens to have had sex that morning. (“Almost pornographic” was how my boss described the photo.) Most importantly though, she looks hot. She’ll be “fine” indeed! Man Asians have the best skin…hey, anyone remember those Pearl Cream infomercials from the eighties by which Nancy Kwan had everyone fooled into thinking it was all some “oriental beauty secret” she was happy to share with you in exchange for four monthly installments of $19.95, no C.O.D.s? In any case, I think we can all agree that whatever Michelle Rhee did for the children of D.C. it was more effective than “pearl cream” and you’d better believe Washington Post has the statistics to prove it. But on this bleak day after her official resignation from the DC schools czarship I have to wonder whether she was more of a figure of controversy within the Post ranks than I had previously been led to believe Because while this is the glamour shot that greeted me at my doorstep this morning:
Wow, principal’s office face is really not a good look for Michelle. This being the nation’s false gravitas fetish capital of course maybe it plays better that she looks all stern and imperious, like she’s about to devalue the yuan or something, even though she’s Korean and they don’t use yuan in that country (and yet somehow have managed to maintain a robust and competitive manufacturing sector concurrently with high standards of living, I wonder what that’s about…) but anyway, the point is, she definitely looks like a lady who could fire your whole fucking department without batting an eyelash, cut a few hundred billion dollars off the deficit and beat Tim Geithner at tennis, all before lunch. Shit, I am beginning to see the appeal…