Sign up for our free newsletter

Free D.C. news, delivered to your inbox daily.

My name is Justin Moyer and I am a rock and roll musician from Washington, D.C. This weblog, which I call “Iceland,” details many wonderful and terrible adventures undertaken between March 14 and April 28, 2007, the dates of my band’s upcoming six-week U.S. tour. Failing financial disaster or personal tragedy, I expect many noteworthy things to happen during this 42-day period, and am here recount these happenings for your entertainment.

Going on tour is an unusual pursuit. When one plays “underground” music as part of an “underground” scene—-as I have for a decade—-the financial rewards of travel are limited, if not nonexistent. Of course, live performance offers much personal satisfaction, including the opportunity to meet and greet a motley assortment of fellow Americans, sleep on “some guy’s” floor, and eat at Denny’s. However, after one plays in dirty venues with questionable toilet facilities to tiny audiences in numerous second-tier cities like Buffalo and Baton Rouge, these personal rewards seem fleeting. As musicians reach retirement age—-that is, turn 30, as I did two days ago —-the whole idea of touring can evoke depression.

“Why go back to Pittsburgh again?” asks the depressed 30-year old musician. “I’ve played to no one in Pittsburgh at least 10 times since 1998. Besides, I have a drug problem and two illegitimate children.”

Yet the musician continues for no better reason than that he/she is a musician. Since man first huddled around fires in caves, musicians have entertained the masses. Why? Only because the masses are there to be entertained. Of course, musicians can brood in their basements, puterring with ProTools and stroking their egos, until Armageddon. However, if one stays in one’s basement, one cannot entertain anyone, and one cannot eat at Denny’s. Not entertaining anyone and not eating at Denny’s is no fun at all!

Thus, in pursuit of my vaudevillian existential dream, I began booking this 40-plus date tour in December. The process has continued these four-plus months and now will bear fruit of unknown quality.

I now set about eating this fruit and telling you about its digestion.