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home of President G.W. Bush. Midland also boasts overpriced hotels, “vegan” Boca Burgers at Denny’s, and everyone’s favorite anti-Semite in What Women Want on cable. If one wants to sit around waiting for laundry to dry while looking like complete shit (see photo above), Midland is choice.

I recognize that my allergy to days off is a psychological problem. After years of touring, I even have trouble relaxing on vacation. One day, I will shake this feeling and pursue another dream—-playing Texas Hold ‘Em professionally and winning the World Series of Poker. But, to borrow from Yeats, my poker dream belongs to “a country for old men.” I am not ready to be put out to pasture in Yeats’ country yet, so know this: I will sit in my overpriced hotel room and watch South Park episodes on my IPod, but cannot enjoy my day off very much.

I already saw What Women Want in the theater.