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Head hurting a little this, well, afternoon?

Capital Fringe Year Five, Weekend One is in the books. Ticket-sales records have been smashed like so many Redrum doors, going north of 10,000 by Saturday, not even three full days into the festival. Somebody stole toilet paper from Fort Fringe! We don’t even want to think about the karmic payback the thief incurred for that one.

Your Fringe & Purge Action News and Commentary Squad weighed in with from-the-hip impressions of more than a dozen shows, with many more to come, and proffered profiles of Fringe artists Mark Jaster, Ed Hamell, and Mark Whitney.

But were there celebrities? Aye. Danny Glover, last seen in this city getting crushed, along with the White House, by a tsunami-propelled U.S.S. John F. Kennedy supercarrier in Roland Emmerich’s begging-to-be-adapted-for-the-fringe disaster epic 2012, turned up Friday night to see the cloak room, absent his usual loose-cannon partner. Where was that guy? (Oh. Oh, right.)

Well, who needs Mel Gibson? We’ve got our own, non-bigoted action heroes: Hyperactive critics Ian Buckwalter and Adam Gorod both filed early and often. Gentlemen, consider yourselves on notice: If you don’t quit showing up the rest of us here on the FPANCS, you will find yourselves transferred to Houston Fringe coverage duty. Naturally, we keed: Keep up the great, fast work, fellas.

We also got some sterling stuff from new and new-to-us critics Derek Hills and Sophia Bushong, and from seasoned CP vets Trey Graham and Glen Weldon, who, didja see, cold-rocked a baseball metaphor in his review like he was Dave McKenna or something. And have I mentioned the lovely contributions of lovely City Lights Editor Erin Petty? Well, I have now.

Meanwhile, I’m looking forward to documenting my [SPOILER] ardent approbation for Happenstance Theater / banished productions’s joint effort Handbook for Hosts, and Tree of Knowledge Productions’s After the Garden.

And now, the FPANCS wants you. Tell us what you saw, tell us what you heard. Tell us what you’ll be ripping down doors to catch in the coming days.