Remaining Performances:

Saturday, July 20, 10:30 p.m.
Sunday, July 21, 7:00 p.m.
Tuesday, July 23, 10:00 p.m.
Saturday, July 27, 10:00 p.m.

They say: “Notorious punk dragstress Lucrezia Blozia and her bitches star in Haute Mess, a stunningly stupid examination of the fashion industry, written by NYC’s The Other Baldwins, and directed by DC’s purveyor of trash, Ian Allen (Cherry Red Productions).”

Lindsey’s Take: Move over, bitches: the fashion world has a new queen. Anna Wintour is out, and Barbara the mole person is in. This fairy tale of three models will take you from the depths of the C-Train underworld to the Vogue penthouse, as Laila, Yasmine and Bracelet crusade for their rights—-mainly, “sunshine, coconut water and Klonopins.”

2013 marks Landless Theatre’s 10-year anniversary, and they’re celebrating with Cherry Red Productions and stars Lucrezia Blozia, Helen Highwater, and Patty O’Furrnatura. Between the three of them, they play some nine different characters throughout the show—-including Anna Wintour as a disembodied mannequin head on a pole (wearing her standard blonde bob wig) and her evil henchman, none other than Boba Fett.

The models are out to form a more perfect union—-including free gum—-and must face an evil pair of mannequins, the tragic and crazy Barbara the Mole Person and Tim Tam the Abandoned Orphan, in the process. And we all face the horror of the terrifying faux-vaginas together.

Don’t worry, it has a happy ending. (Several, in fact!) But Haute Mess is more about the journey, with lots of laughs, commentary on the industry, and a few probably-offensive one-liners. Ridiculously hilarious works well at Fringe, and this show is a Crystal Pepsi bottle overflowing with both.

See it if: None of that description makes sense, and that is exactly how you like your Fringe.

Skip it if: Models with hairy legs don’t do it for you.