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Crystal City’s own Synetic Theater became the unexpected target of highbrow scorn yesterday with a Wall Street Journal op-ed decrying the company’s practice of mounting wordless Shakespeare adaptations. Yawn, I say: Here at Fringe, we’ve certainly seen our fair share of nonconformist Shakespeare spectacle (like MacWHAT?!, whose promo image is now wonderfully appropriate), and most of it would make the blood of purists run ice-cold. We even have our own “silent” Shakespeare, thank you very much.

But because the author, James Bovard, clearly needs to become more acquainted to our local theater community, for now let’s just ease him into the idea of nontraditional theater gradually, like teaching a child to swim in the deep end. Here’s theater invented in two weeks by teen girls in a summer camp; theater that’s actually an interactive game; theater where the Almighty does some cheap magic tricks; and theater that doesn’t think too highly of that talky nonsense. Enjoy, and don’t be a stranger ’round these parts.

Act Like a GRRRL (Brookland Artspace Lofts Studio: Dance Place, 8 p.m.) — This will be opening night for a show written and performed by young women, part of the performance-based nonprofit’s intensive two-week approach toward improving confidence in young women. Our Mandy Toomey profiled the organization.

When We Grow Up (W.S. Jenks & Son, 8:15 p.m.) — Draw your way to relevance in this interactive game, which encourages audience members to illustrate their careers and then challenges others to justify their value to society.

God: The One-Man Show (Tree House Lounge, 9:45 p.m.) — Yes, it’s God in the flesh, as portrayed by actor Rich Potter. And he’s a total ham. Blasphemy! Horrible, horrible blasphemy! Or, you know, a great time.

SONATA: The Naked Theatre Project (Gallaudet University: Eastman Studio Theatre, 10:15 p.m.) — Tread carefully, WSJ: If you can’t handle a little wordless Shakespeare, you’d probably have a heart attack over this. SONATA is a multi-genre smorgasbord whose only consistent throughline is the near-total absence of spoken language. How does that work? Check back in later today, unless you’ve already got your op-ed ready.

Also: We’re not sure how the Journal feels about the sanctity of Lewis Carroll, but they may want to steer away from the steampunkified ALICE, just to be safe. But never fear, it’s also opening night for The Eddie Lounge Reunion Tour: The Lounge Awakens. And lounge singers, as we all know, are the great peacemakers of our time.

Photo courtesy of King’s Players