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The Sandwich: The Wicked ’Wich

Where: Which ’Wich, 1025 Vermont Ave. NW

Price: $8.25 for a 7-inch, $10.50 for a 10.5-inch, $11 for a 14-inch

Bread: Choice of white or wheat sub roll

Stuffings: Ham, turkey, roast beef, bacon, pepperoni, three cheeses (choose between American, Swiss, cheddar, provolone, pepper jack, mozzarella, blue, parmesan, feta, or Cheez Whiz), lettuce, tomato, onions, mustard, and mayonnaise

Thickness: 3 inches

Pros: The first D.C. location of this Texas-based chain brags of offering 56 trillion possible sandwich combinations. So needless to say, things are easily customizable: If you want honey mustard instead of yellow, or fried onions instead of raw, you can make those changes by marking your order on a paper bag. When toasted, the roll is crispy on the outside and chewy on the inside, giving the sandwich a nice texture.

Cons: Too much meat! The combination of three cured meats, along with beef and turkey, yields a sandwich so salty that it gives you instant heartburn. According to Which ‘Wich’s online nutritional information, a small Wicked ‘Wich contains a whopping 2,279 milligrams of sodium, which can rise depending on your cheese choices. (The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends around 1,500 milligrams of sodium per day.) Vegetables, which might add some contrasting flavor to this salt bomb, lack both color and taste.

Messiness level (1 to 5): 3. Of course a sandwich this packed will leak ingredients. Best to keep it wrapped up and peel back the paper slowly to avoid covering your table in shredded lettuce and crumbs.

Overall score (1 to 5): 1. Downtown is full of sandwich shops offering similar, less salty sandwiches, for the same price. Go to any of those instead. Which ‘Wich’s cutesy paper bag ordering system doesn’t make up for a sandwich this terrible.

Photo by Caroline Jones