Just call it American Cowpie.
Another Gay Movie
Directed by Todd Stephens

Give thanks this season if you haven’t seen Richard Hatch’s li’l survivor. He bared it all for Another Gay Movie, a disgusting, unfunny, and downright contemptible 92 minutes of abusing soap, cucumbers, and laxatives—and generally insulting gay people’s intelligence. Unless you like listening to caricatures talk about “penis drippings, ill-timed queefs, and 31 flavors of genital cheese.” —Tricia Olszewski

Basic Instinct 2
Directed by Michael Caton-Jones

Sex, murder, psychology, architecture—sounds like the stuff of a smart thriller, but even relocating to London and enlisting classy British actors didn’t prevent the long-delayed sequel from being fatally stupid. While the psychiatric verdict is that the sexual predator played by a plasticized Sharon Stone has “a risk addiction,” this re-tread doesn’t gamble at all, except with incoherence. —Mark Jenkins