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Cinderella, hunkered down over a Gatling gun, peppers a swarm of witches with diamonds mined by the Seven Dwarves. There. I’ve revealed the one semi-ingenious moment in the entire span of Happily N’Ever After. Call me a spoiler, but really, the only thing to spoil is your appetite for Shrek rip-offs. This particular piece of animated larceny takes place in a land called, um, Fairy Tale Land, and if that generic moniker isn’t enough to frighten you off, try this: Wallace Shawn, or at least the piggy that emits his voice, shares custody of all the enchanted realm’s plot lines with a creature voiced by Andy Dick. That is, until evil Frieda (Sigourney Weaver) stumbles on the story factory and twists all the narratives toward bleakness. Sleeping Beauty refuses to wake up; Jack meets a nasty fate atop his beanstalk; and Frieda’s stepdaughter, Cinderella (Sarah Michelle Gellar), has to take to her heels to salvage any romantic future. Not a bad idea, forcing the passive drudge of children’s-book lore to forge her own happy ending. And with former alien-ass-kicker Weaver in the cast, I began to envision a feminist fantasy in which Cinder-guerrilla takes out some big bad wolf’s eye with her glass slipper—or, scarier still, realizes she doesn’t need a man to be happy. That is much further than director Paul J. Bolger or screenwriter Robert Moreland dare to tread: Gags that should be split-second throwaways are elongated beyond sufferance; the vocal performances (Weaver’s excepted) are middling; the musical score is much worse than middling. The only value of Happily N’Ever After, finally, is cautionary: When you cull the ’tude from the Shrek formula and leave out the wit, you make Drek.