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This formerly frustrated wife, separated after eight years of marriage, is acting on the stuff I fantasized about while I was with my strait-laced husband. I’ve done the sex-friends thing and the sex-in-a-hotel-with-a-stranger-during-a-business-trip thing, but I have yet to do the one thing I’m most interested in: a threesome with two men. I have ads up on two Web sites—Lavalife and seekingarrangement.com—and I want your opinion about a guy I chatted with regarding a two-men/one-woman threesome. I’ve enclosed the entire chat for you to read. Have I found the guy? Or is he a closeted homosexual? Or a sex offender? There aren’t many men where I live who are interested in a two-men/one-woman threesome. I have a gay male friend who’s curious enough about women to give it a go. Is this my other guy? —Woman Enjoys Tag Teaming
No, WETT, he’s not.
There are more red flags in this transcript, WETT, than in Havana on May Day. The first flutters into view when you ask this man if he’s bisexual, and he says he “was just turned bi.” Bi isn’t something he is, it’s something someone did to him? Uh-huh. And when you pressed Guy Turned Bi (GTB) on this point…well, let’s just go to the transcript (sic throughout):
wett: What do you mean, you were “just turned” bi?
gtb: I was alone on an overnight train ride and a guy approached me, overpowered me, and dragged me into a sleeping compartment. By the time I came to, he was already well underway working on me
gtb: and after a couple hours I just gave in
wett: so you got raped by a guy. that doesn’t make you bi. what do you mean, “after a couple of hours”? you were actually fighting him off for TWO HOURS?
gtb: Couldn’t really fight, he had me immobilized. But I was resisting him the whole time. When I stopped resisting he picked up on it right away and took steps to turn me permently bi
wett: didn’t know that could be done. what were those steps?
gtb: when I gave into him he became a lot less forcefull and started using the time that was on his side. he worked deeper and deeper into me. at which point he simply said, “look down.” and what I saw was shocking…
OK, that’s enough—I’m going to spare my readers the balls slapping GTB’s ass, his explosive orgasm, and the train rapist’s parting shot. GTB’s claim of being overpowered on a train and fucked into permanent bisexuality tells you everything we need to know about him: He’s full of shit.
Later in the transcript, WETT, we can see what GTB was after. When he really gets going—when the details of his “rape” start coming fast and furious—he stops responding to your questions and just bangs away at his keyboard. Clearly GTB was typing with one hand and beating off with the other. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. (Let he who hasn’t jerked off in front of a computer cast the first stone.) What’s wrong here is that GTB tricked you into participating in his fantasy-fueled masturbation session by holding out hope of a real-time meeting. Which means he’s just another time waster, WETT, just another asshole ruining the Internet for everybody. —Dan
I’m a 20-year-old bi guy. I consider myself a very attractive dude. I also have a good personality and try to be considerate. I go to an elite university where there’s an abundance of horny girls and bi-curious/gay guys. But I can’t seem to attract anyone—guy or girl—for a fuck session! My friends are always hooking up at parties, but I always end up back at my room alone with my boned-up cock. No one ever hits on me! I don’t know what I need to do to find an ass I can pound or someone willing to pound my bubble butt! Do people assume I’m an egotistical bastard because of my looks? I’m leaving for Europe in the fall, and I’m going to have a fuck fest with my best female friend’s soccer-player boyfriend (she likes to watch two guys), but I don’t want to wait that long! —Yearning and Looking Eagerly
P.S. I attached a couple of photos… to get your attention!
I can’t possibly formulate a response to your question, YALE, until I see at least 10 more photos.
P.S. Yes, YALE, you’re a very attractive dude—to an intimidating degree. While some people might assume that you’re an egotistical bastard, most will assume that you have, like everyone in your league, your pick of the girls and/or boys you want to fuck. People also assume that folks in your league do the picking. So stop waiting to get hit on, YALE, and start hitting on people. I promise you’ll get more pussy than the Dumpster behind a vet’s office and/or more ass than a seat on the subway.
My wife and I have discovered a wonderful new kink. Through time and practice at suckling/pumping/Marmet Technique, we began to get her to lactate. We now have an Adult Breastfeeding Relationship (ABR).
I’m a dom and she’s a switch in our part-time BDSM relationship. So our ABR not only includes loving moments of me nursing at her breasts, but also me “forcing” her to lactate via a specialized spanking bench I constructed with attached breast pumps. (I’m the evil doctor when I strap her into this vile contraption.) ABR is ideal for medical-fetish scenes, animalization play, or adult-baby scenarios. But an ABR is a serious undertaking. Once the milk comes in, you have to avoid engorgement. There’s no, “I’m mad at you, so I’m not going to nurse tonight.” An ABR is a big commitment.
—Madison Active Dom Madly into Lactation Knowledge
Thanks for sharing, MADMILK—and thanks for the mental images that only a month’s worth of heavy drinking will be able to erase. And speaking of kink…
When a reader recently asked for some bondage tips, I wrote back and told him I’d send a how-to book about bondage—on the condition that he try out the tips and send in a review. Here’s his review of Chanta Rose’s Bondage for Sex:
“After belting my new significant other to a radiator, my interest in some light bondage was piqued. Being novices, I wanted nothing too risky for fear of scaring off my playmate, yet nothing too lame either, i.e., no feathered handcuffs. Enter Chanta Rose. Bondage for Sex is for anyone who wants to amp up the bedroom voltage. Covering everything from rope to anchorage, this easy-to-follow guide is great for the unsure and those who need no convincing. Rose uses nonthreatening photos and language to help the average het or homo master those tricky harnesses and crab ties.
“I loved the book. It’s wonderful for its useful tips, not to mention its glossy, easy-to-clean pages.”
Hey, everybody: Wanna read the entire transcript of WETT’s chat with GTB? Of course you do! You’ll find the whole damn thing at thestranger.com/savage/wett. And do you wanna see those pictures of YALE? Of course you do! They’re also up—with YALE’s permission, of course—at thestranger.com/savage/yale. —Dan Savage
Dan Savage’s books, The Commitment: Love, Sex, Marriage, and My Family, are on sale now. Send your Savage Love questions to firstname.lastname@example.org. A new Savage Love podcast is available for download every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage.