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Last week, District residents learned that their too-bizarre-for-belief city government had become a little stranger: The Washington Post reported that top staffers to Mayor Marion Barry were gathering for evenings of Chinese food, prayer, and haiku. Inspired by the news (or the muse), Washington City Paper invited readers to compose their own municipal haiku, capturing the District’s plight in 17 elegant syllables.
D.C. poets submitted almost 200 haiku, proving either that Washingtonians are very literate or that the Style Invitational had an off week. These are our favorites.
Rasheeda, Sharon
No nooky, no money. Why?
Bitches set me up
—Chris Cohick
Washington, D.C.
Will rise again from the dead
‘Cause Massa’ Newt said
—Timothy Cooper
Muddy brown water
Spreads from the clogged storm sewer
Good, an open pool!
Big rats grow bigger
Eating anything in sight
Uh-oh, where’s the dog?
—Kevin Parker
A natural source
Much cheaper than the street lights
The moon overhead
—D. Thurston
Home-rule advocates
Have Newt’s undies in a bunch
Capital City
—Joel Knanishu
D.C. police force
Highest crime rate, lowest paid
Que sera sera
—Pamela L. DeGeorge
Single in D.C.
Lawyers and politicians
Might as well stay home
—Marjory Palius
Whither Rasheeda?
Once Delilah, now she’s gone
Vista now unknown
—Pamela Murray Winters
And a Washington City Paper T-shirt goes to Beth Beisel for her winning haiku:
Malfeasance drifts in
on little rats’ paws. Finding
warm welcome, it stays.