God only knows what the hell’s up with the Frogs. Comprised of two supposedly homosexual brothers, the Milwaukee duo released It’s Only Right and Natural a few years ago, which featured such toe-tappers as “Been So Long Since I Had a Man,” “These Are the Finest Queen Boys (I’ve Ever Seen),” and “(Thank God I Died in) The Car Crash.” Spreading their own brand of holiday cheer on the bluesy, Eddie Cantoresque title track of this three-song EP, the boys croak out such festive gibberish as “The presents come out/Santa comes out/He’s got his crazy candy cane/He puts that little white beard/He finds it right up the poop shoot train” and “Here comes Santa’s pussy/He’s takin’ a candy cane up the reindeer.” The second side’s “Have a Merry Xmas” features a drunken rambler squeezing out lines like “Have a fuckin’ fairy Christmas” and “I hope you have a lot of dead things in packages for the fact that my daughter ain’t here to celebrate this.” Inexplicably, the record closes with the beautifully droney piano instrumental “Snow Kisses.” And the Matador catalog number for this priceless gift? 069.—Christopher Porter

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