A veritable pirate’s chest of Olympic medalists glides into town as part of the Office Depot National Symphony Orchestra Concert on Ice. I suspect this event will soon be called simply “The Officecapades,” and why not? Though one longs to view bassoons, timpani, and piccolos attempting triple-axels behind fake-teak credenzas, one must be satisfied with Kristi Yamaguchi, Scott Hamilton, Kurt Browning, the team of Ekaterina Gordeeva and Sergei Grinkov, Brian Orser, and other champs. Bring a Flair pen ($4.99/doz.) and a Quill legal tablet ($3.99/doz.) for autographs and notes. At 8 p.m. at the Patriot Center, 4400 University Dr., Fairfax. $45. For reservations call (202) 432-7328. (DN)