AS AN AMATEUR SLEUTH and as a longtime reader of and respondent to Washington City Paper Matches, I have come to the belief that none of the Women Seeking Men actually exist.

Indeed, it is my theory that Ms. Slender Legs is a collaborative fabrication ISO big bucks for City Paper and the telephone company. Furthermore, I have deduced that the person who writes the copy is a male, perhaps 25 years old, who stands 6-feet-4-inches tall, has a heavy mane of dark hair, and speaks with a European accent. Give it up, City Paper! You’re found out! As such, one would expect you to offer a gesture of goodwill; perhaps a discount on respondent’s telephone bills after the first $200 in unanswered Matches calls per month. What say you, City Paper? Make it retroactive?

Waldorf, Md.