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Every day, District police officers are dispatched to investigate an ADW—that is, an assault with a deadly weapon. Sometimes it’s an ADW-gun, and other times it’s an ADW-knife, -brick,-baseball bat, or other sinister implement. But one night last week, the police scanner crackled with reports of a more plain-vanilla crime: ADW-ice- cream cone. A police cruiser in Georgetown was apparently flagged down by a victim who had been pelted with the deadly object by the driver of a tan van. A lookout was broadcast, and a few minutes later an obviously mystified officer called in on his radio to inquire about the nature of the crime. “ADW-ice cream,” responded the nonplussed dispatcher, which brought anonymous cackles over the Second District channel and bogus offers to race to the scene of the crime. The perpetrator got away, and the condition of the victim could not be determined. And lest anyone think an ice-cream cone isn’t a deadly weapon, just remember: Cholesterol is a known killer.