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Ward 3 Talks, Naylor Court Walks

Fed up with “crime, dirt, debt, and inept officialdom,” six residents of Naylor Court NW have formally declared their independence from Washington, D.C., and established the one-square-block Old City Republic. Dedicated to the proposition that taxation without representation—and, more important, without basic services like trash removal—is untenable, these urban secessionists have already annexed approximately 25 additional people and properties to their cause. First revolutionary Mike Carr warns that once Old City reaches its goal of annexing 51 percent of the District, “there could be a question of whether we’re the real government of D.C.”

A brief portrait of this emerging city/state/nation:

Location: Between 9th and 10th and N and O Streets NW. Part of the original 1792 city of Washington, considered not worth burning or capturing by the British in 1812.

Chief Export: Custom-printed, logo-emblazoned T-shirts.

Budget: Balanced (“within $15”).

Taxes: None anticipated.

Standing Army: One, as needed; résumés currently being accepted. (“We have had offers from people with weapons to come in and guard our alley,” says Carr, “but we don’t want to be violent at this point.”)

Fighting Words: “The District is like Mobro, the garbage barge that left New York a few years ago and couldn’t find a port.”

Official Symbol: The rat.

Official Bird: The rat.

Official Flower: The rat.

Motto: Sic semper rattus.

Other rebellious D.C. citizens can voluntarily annex themselves by sending a SASE and $3 for a Certificate of Diplomatic Recognition to Old City Republic, 1312 Naylor Court NW, Washington, DC (for the moment, anyway) 20001.