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Despite its ugly duckling status on Capitol Hill and Wall Street, the District can still feel like a swan in less exclusive circles, such as West Virginia. The 17th Annual Miss Teen All American Pageant, based in the beauty-and-fashion mecca of Wheeling, is once again seeking a few good local women between 13 and 19 years old to serve as Delegates- at-Large to the national competition that takes place Aug. 3-6 in Miami. Striking a blow against tyrannical meritocracies everywhere, the pageant eschews a talent contest, instead judging entrants strictly on “the basis of poise, personal interview, and beauty of face and figure,” according to a press release. The winner receives a prize package that includes a personal appearance contract, cash, jewelry, luggage, and other goodies. Pageant hopefuls should send their vitals and a recent photo to National Headquarters-Dept. A, 603 Shrader Ave., Wheeling, WV 26003-9619. Baton twirlers, punk rockers, and other overachievers need not apply.