We know D.C. Get our free newsletter to stay in the know.
As he drove up Massachusetts Avenue, District resident Dave Yockel spotted a shivering vagrant who had stumbled to his knees in front of the Brazilian Embassy. Fearing that the man would not survive the night of single-digit cold, Yockel reversed course and offered to drive him anywhere he wished. The vagrant first requested Union Station, then Bethesda, but finally settled on Dupont Circle, which he insisted was on Metro’s Green Line. Thinking his good deed was done, Yockel pulled over to discharge his confused passenger. “I love you,” proclaimed the vagrant, refusing to leave the car until he got a kiss. Showing the nose for middle ground he has developed as a labor negotiator, Yockel proposed parting ways with a hug. The man consented but couldn’t stop himself from planting a juicy one right on Yockel’s…ear.