Slower than X-Men, duller than Batman, lower production values than Ultraman, and more inexplicably popular than Barney: It’s the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers! Utilizing choreography, pyrotechnics, and martial arts, the spandex-clad teen superheroes who have turned every tot into a vase-breakin’, babysitter-hittin’, karate-kickin’ monster will—for nine days—put on a live show guaranteed to be an amalgamation of monster-truck rally and the Ice Capades. Sure, your kids would be much better off reading a book, but resistance is futile. Today at 7 p.m., and nightly through Feb. 18, at the D.C. Armory, 2001 East Capitol St. NE.; Feb. 23-26 at the George Mason University’s Patriot Center, 4400 University Dr., Fairfax. $9.50-$30. (202) 347-0001. (Clara Jeffery)

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