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My mother is nicer than your mother. In case you see things differently, I’ve been practicing with Snaps and Double Snaps. These two compendiums list rude, stinging, and often pretty amusing insults aimed at your mom (“so ugly, police artists are afraid to sketch her”), your house (“so small, we had to eat a Bigfoot pizza outdoors”), and your own self (“You’re so white, you think Malcolm X’s name is Malcolm the Tenth”). Blame authors James Percelay, Monteria Ivey, and Stephen Dweck when you get in big trouble on the playground. They’ll be here to ridicule you from 12:30-2:30 p.m. at Reprint Books, 456 L’Enfant Plaza SW. FREE. (202) 554-5070. (NodB)