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Let me say right off that toe shoes are not intrinsically any more amusing than ice skates are. (Though if you spent much time in the former as a child, you probably don’t wear sandals much. There’s a reason they call them toe shoes, if you get my meaning.) Both types of athletic footwear are the painful and precarious means to a gliding, graceful end. Which explains why the notion of The Nutcracker on ice is no funnier that that of ice hockey in toe shoes. The Columbia Figure Skating Club presents The Nutcracker on Ice at 5:30 & 6:30 p.m. at the Oakland Mills Village Center, Columbia Ice Rink, Thunderhill Rd., Columbia. $4. (301) 498-5953. (Nicole Arthur)