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When the God song was on the charts, Christian broadcasters were forced to decide whether or not they were going to play it. They didn’t, lamely defending the choice by saying they didn’t think Joan Osborne’s “lifestyle” was compatible with the degree of reverence they required. (Presumably, one look at her nose ring scared them off.) They should have just parried with, “Have you heard the song about her panties being in a wad at the bottom of her purse?,” and it’s too bad heathen radio stations can’t do the same thing. If priggish moralizing is the only way to keep Osborne at bay, I say so be it. She will mingle matters sacred and profane, with the Screaming Cheetah Wheelies opening, at 8:45 p.m. at the 9:30 Club, 815 V St. NW. $20. (202) 393-0930. (James Lochart)