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Recently, I was told that my gender has precluded my basking in the true brilliance of Robert Pollard and Guided by Voices. My girldom—make that grrrldom—has hampered my understanding of his lyrics, which supposedly are inspired by varsity football and beer swilling. Never mind that women know plenty about distortion and detuning—take Kim Deal, who produced GBV’s latest, Under the Bushes Under the Stars. Anyone who tells me that “I met a nondairy creamer explicitly laid out like a fruit cake” has anything to do with first-down yardage and 40-ouncers will never rate mention in my own “Gold Heart Mountaintop Queen Directory.” Cat Power, Railroad Jerk, and Tripl3fast Action are the lucky supporting acts on the bill, which starts at 9 p.m. at the 9:30 Club, 815 V St. NW. $10. (202) 393-0930. (Tina Plottel)