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It is a well-known yet seldom-practiced fact that BBQ, the sloppy chow of the summertime gods, is best eaten in the buff. Yeah, you prudes go ahead and snicker, but as the hedonistic mantra goes, “No dress, no mess/In the nude, enjoy your food.” However, seeing that the 1996 National Capital Barbecue Battle benefits the Metropolitan Police Boys & Girls Clubs, maybe this isn’t a real good time to stroll around au naturel. As if the spicy grub at this annual hoedown wasn’t enough, Spencer Davis (without Steve Winwood) and Mitch Ryder (without the Detroit Wheels) will be among 20 music acts entertaining the wetnap-toting masses, and an “AT&T Laser Spectacular” will close the first two evenings—although, if you do decide to party naked, it’s best to wear at least a protective thong during this portion of the festivities. (Mine’s ecru.) From 4-10 p.m. today, 11 a.m.-10 p.m. tomorrow, and noon-7:30 p.m. Sunday at Washington Harbour Park, Wisconsin & K St. NW. $6. (301) 585-2981. (Sean Daly)