Everyone loves a Melvins show, except of course for Melvins. Two years ago, at a much-celebrated East Coast appearance, the granddaddies of alterna-grunge took the stage before a packed house. Twenty minutes into the set, King Buzzo (in a miserable attempt to gain command of his audience) raised his finger to his lips and shushed the crowd into appreciation of a masturbatory jam. Once the collective mumble reached an epic decibel level, the king and his court threw their instruments down and marched off stage like kindergarteners whose Play-Doh had dried up in the can. Ah, the tortured musician. Remember your inside voices when Melvins appear with Internal Void at 7:30 p.m. at the 9:30 Club, 815 V St. NW. $10. (202) 393-0930. (EN)