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After singing “Happy Birthday,” District boosters
chant, “No More Years!” +7
MCI Arena announces plan
for three-story sports bar. Fat
suburban white guys high-five. +2
Probe finds only one dead
person on UDC payroll. +8
Park police test night-vision
device to sniff out thugs in
bushes. D.C. school Superintendent Franklin Smith borrows device to find no-show school-
system bureaucrats. +4
D.C. Taxicab Commission
OKs plan to remove cabs from the streets after six years of use or five fatal crashes with bike messengers, whichever comes first. +4
D.C. Councilmember
Charlene Drew Jarvis advocates “SWAT team” approach to
economic development in the
District. D.C. police snipers,
paratroopers prepare attack on Wal-Mart headquarters. +2
D.C. cops bust underage drinkers in Georgetown. Garrett’s, Champions mull bankruptcy filing. +7
City repaves 18th Street in
Adams Morgan but neglects to plow under parking jockeys. +6
Dupont Circle pizza joint
Vesuvio’s sells out to trendy, healthful chain restaurant.
Commodity prices for grease
and feta cheese take a dive. +1
For first time since spring, D.C. tap water passes bacteria tests. Capitol Hill yuppies use it again to wash Volvos, Starbucks mugs. +10
Subtotal: +51
The Damage Done
D.C. Council Chairman Dave Clarke faints on Capitol grounds before fitness walkathon, yet manages to stay awake for October council bore-athon. -3
City asks citizens to bag leaves. Citizens bag city instead: Census study predicts D.C. population will fall 30,000 by 2000. -8
Fire forces evacuation of
tropical fish at National Zoo. Commentator Carl Rowan Sr. offers famous backyard pool as temporary holding tank. -3
Newt Gingrich calls Barry a
“great disappointment.” Barry retorts that Gingrich has delivered “nothing. Zip. Zero.” Both are right for the first time in years. -3
Vandals decapitate downtown parking meters; federal mint scales back production of quarters. -4
Studies find 148 gangs in Northern Virginia, 18 in Montgomery
County. Mayor Barry asks INS
for assistance in patrolling the Potomac and Maryland line. -6
In newly released movie High School High, kids adorn statue of Barry with crack pipe, lighter, and African headgear. Movie glosses over mayor’s successful “transformation” budget plan. -6
Washington makes Fortune
magazine’s list of America’s
most livable citieson the strength of its cheap martinis
and comfortable suburbs. -4
U.S. Attorney Eric Holder declines to prosecute Barry’s security guards for ferrying voters to the polls to vote for mayor’s friends. Barry considers expanding mayoral motor-voter program. -6
Subtotal: -43