In response to Catherine Alter’s article (10/25), I have a chip, or ice chip, to knock off her shoulder.
I, like yourself, am a Connecticut transplant, and after a six-year live-in relationship that ended after a long engagement, I have been thrust into the dating world at 31. My relationship ended two years ago and I cannot believe how difficult it has been to meet a nice, honest, mature man. For the past two years I have been approached, asked, and bullied by various men for a date. Ages range from 24 to 36. Most bragged about how much they drank or how much money they made within the first 30 minutes of conversation (and I never asked). One complained that he was a workaholic, others did recreational drugs, and one 36-year-old guy gave my best friend’s phone number to some guy he met at a bachelor party.
I don’t make the local bar rounds; however, when I have met men, whether through friends or at social events, I am continually astonished at the lack of maturity. Who wants to date a guy that can’t drive his car every time he goes out because he drinks too much? And he’s 34! It seems to me that most women are just sick of being hit on by slobs, sleazebags, and mentally stunted oafs. Most men are just looking to get laid (just ask) and they believe that if they throw some money around and brag about their partying habits then they’ll get lucky (certainly not with anyone with some sense of self-worth). What self-respecting woman wants to hear, “Hey babe, nice ass” or “What guy would let you get away?” Puh-leeze!
As for your comment on women dressing up and attracting attention only to snap the head off some poor slob that approaches them, I disagree. If a woman looks attractive because she wants to, that doesn’t mean she wants her ass grabbed. Is this 1996 or 1956?
The smart women are just getting sick of it and have finally taken the attitude that so many slimy eels have conditioned us to. If you’re on a bitch hunt, Catherine, then I suggest that you look in the mirror.