City Paper is not for tourists
“Bitch Hunt” (10/25) and the letters that followed the week after certainly show what the social scene in the area is like. I have been told to fuck off for just saying hi on a Metro platform, and told to get lost for stepping up to the bar to order a drink. She apparently thought I was going to approach her. I have also had more than one conversation turn to how much money I make within the first five minutes of meeting someone. While I agree that there is a great deal of jerks and assholes out there, there is no reason to be a bitch to someone upon first meeting them. Regarding the money situation, the extremely wealthy and powerful men know why they are getting the attention of these women; they also know that there are others waiting in line, so why do they have to treat them well? They don’t.
One woman responded to the article that she would never be nasty to a Henry Rollins look-alike if he had a brain on his shoulders, but how would she know if she turns him away in the first 10 seconds? Another woman implied that the only two choices were to be any and every man’s sex toy or to be a bitch. I guess there is no middle ground. A third woman suggested that a possible reason for this behavior was the guys who don’t call or stand you up. Well, this is called rejection; it’s a part of dating. Most men usually go through this many times before even arranging a date with someone. If we figured all women were bitches because of this, no man would ever ask anyone out again.
What’s my point to all of this? It’s that nobody wins with the current attitudes. The solution? Who knows, but here are some suggestions. 1.) Accept that men will approach you. Someone has to make the first move, and this is done blindly. Until most women are making that first move on a regular basis, the men will continue to do so. 2.) Don’t judge all men by the jerks. You will see many of them because they are the most aggressive. 3.) Politely turn someone away if you’re not interested. If he respects your wishes you might want to go after him; he could be a good one. If he doesn’t, then become a bitch and tell him off. 4.) If you’re uncomfortable giving out your phone number, ask for his (and then call). If he doesn’t give it, or it’s his beeper number, he’s probably married or involved. Will this solve everything and make everyone happy? No, but I would bet that a few lives would improve.
via the Internet