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Georgetown hyperactivist Westy Byrd challenges Election Day votes of Georgetown students, proposes new poll requirements for Georgetown residents: Voters must have a purebred dog, gray hair, and at least two pairs of
plaid slacks. -7
Park Police shoot and kill buck that was reportedly “charging at citizens” near Hains Point; golfers advised to wear camouflage vests, bright orange caps. -2
Robber strips Supreme Court
Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg of her purse and her court ID card. Mysterious 10th justice shows
up in court chambers the
following day. -1
D.C. Council passes resolution honoring boxing promoter Don King, schedules consideration of proposal for citywide “Hulk Hogan Day.” -2
Bullets star/role model Juwan Howard busted for drunk driving; area youths trade in mesh hoop jerseys for fake IDs. -6
Results, The Gym opens on U Street; Yuppies, The Scum flock to mirrors, treadmills. -2
Washingtonian publishes sexist cover story, “Why Washington Women Can’t Cook.” Look
for upcoming issue, “Why
Washington Glossy Has
Nothing Cooking.” -3
D.C. General Hospital springs
gas leak; patients welcome
fresh smell. -3
Subtotal: -26
Shots in the Arm
Robbers attempt heist at Kalorama home of World Bank President James Wolfensohn but come away with only a cache of pamphlets on bridge loans, debt swaps. +3
Mayor Marion Barry scolds
D.C. government employee for falling asleep during a meeting on social services. Dozing employee awakens to find that the nightmare hasn’t changed. +2
Mayor Barry touts plan to license District panhandlers. Homeless primp for ID photos. +2
Customs agents seize counterfeit merchandise from downtown
vendors. Local Eurotrash wonder where they’ll find that special something for Christmas. +4
Control board gives D.C. public schools “an absolute F” and installs new leadership. Home
rule advocates plead for a chance to fail again. +8
D.C. Council bars howitzers, grenades from District classrooms. Relieved teachers shed
anti-artillery gear. +3
On junket to Asia, Mayor Barry visits Great Wall of China, sparking new idea to prevent resident flight from the District. +3
Task force releases $2-billion
plan to turn putrid New York Avenue into a glistening commercial gem. Next up for task force: Eliminating racism and poverty in the District.+5
Subtotal: +30