I’m a punk (forget that stuff I wrote about being a new-ager in the last review). So when I received the Xmas album from the prolific, resurrected Vandals (this is their third album this year) I skanked my way over to the CD player for some high-octane pop-punk laughers like “Christmas Time for My Penis” (“I see you’ve been feeling down/When I needed you, you’ve been around/So this year I’ve a Christmas surprise that will make your spirits rise…”) and “My First Xmas, as a Woman” (“I won’t have to tuck it behind me since I got my brand new vagina”). I would write more, but pools of tears from this disc’s continuous ha-ha’s are ruining my paper. (Yeah, I still write on paper. Fuck computers, I’m a punk.)

—I Saw Three Chips Porter