In the post-Cold War era, it’s hard for people to get it up for communists as bad guys. And as is the case anytime demand is low, marketing is everything, which is why the word of the moment (notarized by William Safire last Sunday) is laogai, the Chinese for “reform through labor.” Laogai refers to the practice of humiliating intellectuals or whoever by making them perform menial labor, and Chinese dissident Harry Wu is trying to make it the buzzword for renewed anti-Red sentiment. The only problem is I know a lot of people for whom a few weeks of pulling radishes out of the ground with a gun to their heads wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Hillwood Museum and Gardens has no catchy term for crypto-tsarism, but it does have “Nicholas and Alexandra”‘s gold coronation vestments and the tsarina’s nuptial crown, so the museum is conducting a tour to “commemorate” the 100th anniversary of the crowning of the last Russian royal couple. Bring your rapidly cooling anti-communism and figure out what that means for yourself, at 3 p.m. at Hillwood Museum, 4155 Linnean Ave. NW. $10. For reservations call (202) 686-5807. (James Lochart)