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City pays $650,000 to top-flight consulting firm to determine that Mayor Barry has thwarted professional management of the police department. -5

D.C. police Chief Larry Soulsby fires disloyal subordinates and vows to whip the department into shape—two years after taking it over. -8

On NBC’s Meet the Press, Mayor Barry says, “I’m not the problem.” Host Tim Russert falls off his chair. -3

Inspector general fingers three city employees for stealing $14,000 in cash from treasury office cash registers and informs thieves that city contracts are a much more lucrative racket. -1

Park service bans booze on the Mall; coffee parties with flush DNC contributors are still kosher. -4

Laurel family donates “Shultzy,” a German shepherd, to the D.C. police for canine training; Shultzy bites trainer and is promptly executed. -2

CVS plots takeover of MacArthur movie theater, lending Palisades

neighborhood the quaint feel of

Bailey’s Crossroads. -7

Emboldened by all the headlines about community policing, Capitol Hill resident shoots burglar with a handgun. -2

City cancels recycling program and tells residents to fend for themselves. Citizens begin filling neighborhood potholes with aluminum cans. -6

Historic Vista Hotel changes name to Westin City Center Hotel. Another local landmark is rubbed off the map. -3

Computer crashes at motor vehicles bureau. People in line set up tents and order out for pizza. -2

Subtotal: -43

Shots in the Arm

Metro general manager Richard A. White announces plans to make Metro the “Nordstrom” of public transit; hires tuxedo-clad pianist to entertain commuters at Metro Center. +5

D.C. cabbie wins distinction for returning $1,500 to a customer, who accepts the money without asking for change or a receipt. +7

Mount Rainier officials install cameras and fences to keep an eye on drug dealers. Surveillance obstructed by constant stream of people outbound from the District. +7

Clinton administration supports $260-million economic development “superagency” for the District. Recruitment of non-tax-paying nonprofits and governmental agencies to begin as soon as agency is up and running. +9

ACT UP files initiative to legalize marijuana for people suffering from HIV/AIDS, glaucoma, muscle spasms, cancer, and other illnesses. Bike messengers lobby for inclusion of sore thighs on list of treatable ailments. +4

Catholic foundation announces plans for a memorial to Pope John Paul II, “the kind of place you could come

and leave a different person.” Early invitation extended to Mayor Barry

to cut the ribbon. +6

Former D.C. drug kingpin Rayful Edmond testifies that his business pulled in $35-40 million. District hires him as economic development consultant. +3

Subtotal: +41