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No wonder Jason Cherkis hasn’t had a girlfriend in two years (“Girly Town,” 8/8). I know, I know: It is every girl’s fantasy to date a pompous, bitter, self-referential pseudo-psychologist who uses risqué words like “masturbation” and “dick” in his poorly researched articles (“Girly Town” is not the first of his pieces that has made me want to rush to the bathroom and vomit), but this girl just wants to lock him in a room with some Catharine MacKinnon books on tape and watch as he decomposes trying to digest complex ideas.

Admittedly, the lineup at the Lilith Fair is weak, and I would probably rather have Cherkis’ articles tattooed on my upper body than subject myself to a day of that cuddly crap, but I really can’t believe that Cherkis doesn’t realize what a double standard he’s imposing on the event itself. (Why we care about his breakup with “Cindy” is beyond me; their tag-team masturbation is also, well, kind of irrelevant.) His mention of Sarah McLachlan’s arm flab and the fact that she took the time to don lipstick and eyeliner before a press conference seem to indicate that Cherkis is reaching for some way to minimize something that eludes him. (Note to Cherkis: Drawing attention to a woman’s looks is an obvious and age-old way to avoid addressing what comes out of her mouth. How passé, Jason!)

Because it’s easier for an irresponsible, negligent, and lazy journalist like Cherkis to write whiny stories as therapy and personal memoir (yawn) than to actually do some research, he avoids confronting a more interesting and complicated issue: What it is about being a 16-year-old girl that sucks, and why seeing women (whatever kind of music they’re playing) fronting bands or singing alone provides some form of vindication for them. From birth, the teenage girls who Cherkis is certain are Lilith’s “demographics” are made to feel second best, thigh-obsessed, and pathetically self-conscious by a society that still tries to turn them against each other. Now they’ve got to read this article in D.C.’s ostensibly “alternative” rag, which allegedly “reviews” something that focuses on them for a few hours, by a guy who’s (let me extrapolate now) probably in his mid-20s, short, and quite obviously writes just to provoke a reaction? “Feminism is just in their fantasies”!!??? Fuck you, Jason. Is this what these girls have to look forward to as they get older? Young sisters, meet your future dating pool!

And how can Cherkis pretend to know what stirs in the minds and hearts of lesbians everywhere? (I know, I know: He said he read the Blade!) “All the real lesbians,” he offers, “knew [Lilith] was for tryout dykes.” (Note to Jason: Heterosexual men are not allowed to use the word “dyke” ironically.) Sorry Cherkis got dumped because his girlfriend started listening to Sarah McLachlan (it does sound ridiculous when you put it like that, doesn’t it, Jason?), but maybe he should spend less time pontificating about the ramifications of girl-oriented music on his sex life, and more time educating himself about a world that created a need for it in the first place. Oh, and Jason: If your girlfriend had been listening to PJ Harvey, she still would have left you—but probably with flesh wounds.

Cathedral Heights

via the Internet