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A couple of years back, I decked myself out for a Halloween party as Courtney Love, complete with babydoll dress, Doc Marten boots, and lipstick-written obscenities. That’s the only time I flirted with cross-dressing. Like brain surgery or ice skating, I figure it’s a deed best left to professionals. Combining the glamour of “female illusion” with the sanctity of community service, the glorious “Ladies of Delusion” are sponsoring their first annual “Hallowqueen Madness” dragfest benefiting Food for Friends. The comedy and musical revue of Stevie Opulence and Tammy Wynotte will be emceed by local legend Vita Opulence and former Miss Gay D.C. Monet Dupree. RuPaul once said, “If queens ran the country, everyone would get the entire month of October off to prepare for Halloween.” Since we don’t, the next best thing is to watch people who spend all year. At 9:30 p.m. at Ziegfield’s, 1345 Half St. SE. $3. (202) 554-5141. (Dan Avery)