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Some people claim that the pyramids were built by ancient astronauts, others that JFK is still alive in a Dallas hospital, still others that they know the location of Atlantis. That’s all minor-league stuff compared with veterinarian Nicholas Dodman, who insists he can get your cat to behave the way you want. The author of The Cat Who Cried for Help, Dodman says he can cure feline depression and phobias, and in today’s lecture will explain how. Note, however, that Dodman is a professor of behavioral pharmacology, so the publication of Meowing Back at Prozac can’t be too far behind. At 8 p.m. at the Department of Agriculture’s Jefferson Auditorium, 12th & Independence Ave. SW. $13. For reservations call (202) 357-3030. (Mark Jenkins)