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‘Twas a festive morning in December 1994, and D.C. Councilmember Harry Thomas was preparing for his annual holiday party and toy giveaway. The party was filling up with Thomas’ Ward 5 constituents and other well-wishers when Thomas noted something awry. A staffer from his office was behaving rather unmerrily and making some unseasonal remarks. So Thomas hauled off and cold-cocked the guy. End of story.
Although D.C. politicos have never taken governing very seriously, they don’t let anyone mess with their holiday festivities. Over the years, they’ve learned how to profile at holiday events and hold themselves out as charitable figures. This year, though, Washington City Paper is keeping score. A team of judges with more than 40 years of combined experience assessing holiday decorations and cheer set out to rank D.C. politicos on a rigorous, scientific scoring grid. In each categoryoffice decorations, charity, and spiritcontestants can score anywhere from -10 (big-time Grinch) to +10 (jolly Santa).CP
Frank SmithRibbon on magazine Passes out toys and Owns a Santa suit
rack, pine cone display bikes in Ward 1 that he dons
on coffee table, beard public housing. +9every year. (It’s
on councilmember. +5his second
he wore out the
first one.) +10
+24
Harry ThomasReal 8-foot tree with Hosting ward party, Bought real
lights that blink, passing out toys, tree for council
accompanied by holiday attending holiday lobby from a
tunes, tinsel in doorways, parties, working on lot in his
wreath, poinsettia, his right hook. +4ward. +7
candy canesa virtual
winter wonderland. +10 +21
MetrobusChristmassy red stripes Ferrying holiday “Happy Holidays”
on bus sides, Home revelers all over greetings on
Alone 3 posters. +4town. +6marquees. +7
+17
Marion BarryTastefully color-coded Lit Christmas tree, “The mayor’s going
9-foot real tree, lighted hosts holiday parties to brave the weather
ficus, pine-bough for children, preaches to light the tree
arrangement. +8passionately about that’s symbolic of
redemption. +5 the hope and
prosperity for the
District,” says a
Barry supporter. +4 +17
Sandy Allen 5-foot fake decorated Hands out 3,000-“We are a very festive
tree, plastic “Happy 4,000 toys on Martin crew,” says staffer
Holidays” banner, Luther King Jr. Bob Bethea. “I
accordion-pleated Avenue SE. +7won’t be dressing
hanging paper bells. +6upthey need
someone a little
bigger and a little
jollier.” +3 +16
Harold Brazil 6-foot fake tree Visiting senior citizens His press secretary’s
with nary an home, attending name is Mary
ornament. +4holiday parties, Rudolph. +8
hosting his own
birthday/holiday/
fund-raising party. +4+16
Carol SchwartzOne sprig of evergreen, Diverting office-party “She’s a very gracious
handmade paper chains, funds to a needy and gregarious lady
and snowflakes. +2family. +6who wishes everyone
holiday greetings,”
says a staffer. +3
+11
Linda CroppPoinsettia, wicker bowl Passes out 100 food “Hmmm, you know,
covered with shiny baskets, 700 toys to we’re as festive as
ribbons. +2the needy, donates to you can be while
midget football. +8you’re working,”
says press secretary
Bob Hainey. -2 +8
Kevin Chavous2-foot fake tree bearing Giving turkeys, toys “We’re trying to get into
$7 price tag on office to low-income the holiday spirit,”
table. Real jumbo candy families. Passing says staff aide Cheryl
canes in box. +3out socks to senior Grant. “That’s as far
citizens. +5as we’ve gotten.” -3
+5
Tom DavisA few Christmas Honorary House “I’m sure he was thrilled
wreaths. +1chairman for clothing with the opportunity to
collection for Martha’s clean out his closet,”
Tablehelped load says Anne Carlson, one
the van, too. +5of the organizers of the
collection. -3 +3
Jack Evans 3-foot fake decorated Collects toys, attends “No Santas here.
tree on table, festive holiday reception for No Mrs. Claus,” says
candle, and pine cone senior citizens, chief of staff John
glitter ornament. +5campaigns for mayor’s Ralls. -5
office. +3
+3
Charlene JarvisPoinsettias, Hosting swank party “I don’t think we have
wreath to come. +1 for Ward 4, attending anyone who could be
holiday buffets. +4Santa,” says a staffer.
“No one would fit the
personality.” -4
+1
Hilda MasonA few lame “She has a full Festive? Why? What’s
Christmas cards. +0.5schedule of events, “this for?” asks
but she may not be Daniel.”Oh yeah, we’re
going to all of them,” real festive.” -3
says staff aide Nadine
Daniel. “So if you’re
looking for a reason to
follow her around, I can’t
help you.” -2 -4.5
Sharon Ambrose”We’re not a frilly office,” Giving out a few “We don’t have any
says executive assistant turkeys, helping money, really, to do a
Vickey Wilcher. “We’re out families in bunch of Christmas
just a nuts-and-bolts, Ward 6. +1activities,” says
no-nonsense kind of Wilcher. -7
office.” -5-11
Kathy Patterson”We don’t have any Attending a few parties, “We haven’t even
decorations; we work,” assisting the down-discussed
says staff aide JoAnne and-out in the holidays,” says
Ginsberg. -8Ward 3. +0.5Ginsberg. “You can
put down that
Councilmember
Patterson is doing
her job.” -9 -16.5
Andrew Brimmer Who knows? Press “He’s on vacation now…”Holiday spirit?” asks
secretary Jim Davison [but] he doesn’t haveDavison. “What
could not obtain clearance time for charityabout it?” -9
to allow judges to see work,” says Mimi, an
office doors, which are employee at Brimmer
supposedly decorated & Co. Inc. -10.
for the holidays. -8
-27