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It might sound unlikely, but it seems clear to me that the Monica Lewinsky scandal was actually concocted by Clinton’s people to draw the media and the public’s attention away from something even more shocking and potentially damaging to the administration: the hiring of Ted Widmer as a speech writer. On the surface, a Harvard prof doesn’t seem a controversial choice as a White House wordsmith, but the background checkers must have been dozing when they OK’d him: Away from the Crimson halls, Widmer is, in fact, Lord Rockingham, co-leader of the Upper Crust, the high-concept/low-comedy retrometal band that dresses in 18th-century aristocratic finery and sings about its lordly lifestyle in the manner of early AC/DC. It’s hard to believe the administrative staff knew much about Widmer’s avocation when it hired him—or maybe lyrics like “I caught him playing with his hard-on/In the formal garden/He said, ‘Whoops! Beg your pardon’/These are the things that he enjoys” reminded them of their boss. Widmer’s move to Washington was rumored to signal the end of the band, but the Crusties are carrying on and have embarked on their “Something Wigged This Way Comes” tour. They’re playing with Jetlag and Tarot Bolero at 8:30 p.m. Tuesday at the Black Cat, 1831 14th St. NW. $7. (202) 667-7960. (James Lochart)