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Sing it with me: “Showtime…at the DAR Constitution Hall…” Not quite the same ring as Showtime at the Apollo, is it? No matter, comedian Steve Harvey, who hosts the syndicated Apollo program, is likely to make our august chamber seem as if it has moved up to Harlem. On his new album, Steve Harvey Live…Somewhere Down South, he throws down the gauntlet: “If you’re not laughing at these jokes,” he says, “your ass is retarded.” But Harvey is not mocking the unfortunate—he is speaking plainly, about men and women and blacks and whites. White folks have “wonderful weekends,” Harvey notes, with more than a little sarcasm and absolutely no envy. They spend their time and excess money on foolish pursuits like hang-gliding. You won’t find African-Americans wasting their hard-earned cash on such nonsense, he says. But black folks can get the start on a wonderful weekend by catching Harvey’s act. White folks, too. But Harvey won’t allow any “half-assed chuckling,” he wants hearty guffaws and he’ll work hard to get them. So don’t laugh like a white person. Even if you are one. At 8 & 11:30 p.m. Friday, 11:30 p.m. Saturday, and 8 p.m. Sunday at DAR Constitution Hall, 18th & D Sts. NW. $35. (202) 628-4780. (Dave Nuttycombe)