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D.C. schools expel Domino’s from cafeterias; sources say pizza chain refused to offer maggots as topping. -2

Police department vows to knock on doors of every District resident. Run on deadbolts reported at area hardware stores. -1

House passes bill guaranteeing Puerto Rican self-determination; bill includes provision allowing D.C. to determine color of fire hydrants. -5

Sen. Lauch Faircloth considers stripping Mayor Marion Barry of authority over police department; Barry considers stripping himself of pants, shirt, underwear at home of “supporters.” -4

Investors discuss bringing major league baseball back to D.C.; sports mogul Abe Pollin vows to chip in with $8 hot dogs. -3

D.C. cops testify at council hearing that they operate in “climate of fear”; citizens comforted that cops finally know feeling. -4

Angry five-pound Chihuahua found crammed in newspaper dispenser; passers-by leave it there, mistaking it for editorial page of Washington Times. -2

Subtotal: -21

Shots in the Arm

Control board Chairman Andrew Brimmer and schools chief Julius Becton announce they’ll retire in June, plan joint memoir dubbed Attack of the Killer Bs. +10

Barry invokes Thomas Jefferson in campaigning for spot on D.C. financial control board; control board says George Jefferson stands better chance than Barry. +3

Bear sighting reported in Rock Creek Park; rangers on the lookout for black furry beast wearing helmet, kneepads. +2

Dupont Circle, Shaw fight over location of Fresh Fields outlet. “We need organic goat milk more than you,” say Shaw activists. +2

District to refund over $17 million in overcharges for traffic, parking citations. Citizens say it can keep money as long as it leaves parking meters headless. +2

D.C. police install laptops in cruisers; interim chief Sonya Proctor rejects proposal to install lap dancers as well. +2

Subtotal: +21